181 Funny home quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the waiting game champion! 🏆 Sitting pretty in a waiting room like a pro, armed with the ultimate weapon – my phone! 📱Who needs Netflix and chill when you can have Phone and Still? 😂 #WaitingRoomWarrior

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

  Commentary:
  Absolutely! 🎉🔨 Imagine the sheer joy on their faces as they blow out the candles on a power tool-themed cake, surrounded by a backdrop of endless possibilities on the shelves of Home Depot. Just think of the party favors – tiny paint swatches, keychain tape measures, and of course, personalized hard hats for all the guests. 🎂🛠 Who needs a party venue when you can celebrate your special day aisle by aisle, right? 😄 #AgeIs

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs social niceties when you can just cut to the chase and declare your exit strategy like a boss? 🏃‍♂️💨 'I wanna go home now' – the ultimate mic drop line for any hang-out session! 😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs the gym when you can have a piece of cake workout, right? 🍰💪 Even the dumbbells are jealous of that sweet treat! 😂 #CakeOverWeights"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My recliner and I go way back.

  Commentary:
  “Ah, the bond between a person and their recliner is truly timeless. 🪑💕 It’s like they say, true love reclines together! 😄”

  Feel free to share this with your friends and have a good laugh!

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

  Commentary:
  Looks like she's trading in swiping left for strolling down the aisle… at the hardware store! 🔨🛠️ Forget love at first sight, she's looking for love at first wrench! 🛒 Who needs a dating app when you can find the perfect match in the paint aisle? 🎨 Let's hope her next relationship doesn't come with any assembly required! 🔧

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like your Zoom calls are turning into an impromptu concert experience! 🎤🎶 Who knew your voice was so captivating that it's drawing in a virtual audience? Maybe you should consider taking your show on the road…or at least to a soundproof room! 🤣🎵 #SerenadingColleagues"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

  Commentary:
  "Why go camping when you can have a wild adventure right at home? Embrace the chaos, be one with nature and let the squirrels in for ultimate indoor camping experience! 🏕️🐿️ #HomeIsWhereTheSquirrelsAre"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

  Commentary:
  "Breaking news – local resident announces bold holiday plans to 'be home for Christmas' 🎄🏠 Turns out, it's the ONLY logical destination for some festive cheer! Who would've thought? 🤷‍♂️ #ObviousChoice #HomeSweetHome"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like that package is stealing the spotlight! 📦🏠 Don't worry, it's just a delivery, not an audition for 'Home Alone 5'! 😂 #PackageDrama"

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