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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2320 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,482

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,482

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Trending via Twitch:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Making waves on TikTok:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Just shared via Facebook:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Breaking via Threads:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Home » Funny Impulse Control Quotes

Funny impulse control quotes

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All funny impulse control quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2320 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,482

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,482

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Going viral on X:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Spotted on Messenger:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Just landed via Facebook:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Breaking via Threads:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Making waves on Threads:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

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