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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Seen just now on X:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Trending via Reddit:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Just shared via Reddit:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Reported on Snapchat:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Just shared via YouTube:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Just landed via Pinterest:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Reported on Reddit:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Trending via Discord:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Just shared via Reddit:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Making waves on Telegram:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

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