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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2429 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,591

Funny Quotes Topics

15,261

Funny Quotes Images

12,591

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Live now on TikTok:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Just landed via Reddit:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Spotted on Instagram:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

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Funny Jesse Ventura quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2429 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,591

Funny Quotes Topics

15,261

Funny Quotes Images

12,591

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,458

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Live now on Messenger:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Seen just now on Reddit:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Going viral on TikTok:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Reported on Facebook:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Freshly posted on X:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

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