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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,516

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Just landed via Facebook:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Live now on Messenger:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Spotted on X:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Making waves on YouTube:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Funny literary reference quotes

New funny literary reference quotes 👇

All funny literary reference quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

40 shares on Threads this month:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

30 shares on Messenger this month:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,342

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Just landed via WeChat:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Trending via Pinterest:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Trending via Discord:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

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