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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Just shared via Telegram:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Shared recently on X:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Spotted on Reddit:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Trending via WeChat:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care, so it works out.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Trending via Instagram:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Reported on Twitch:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Shared recently on Threads:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Reported on Instagram:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Reported on LinkedIn:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Spotted on Messenger:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

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