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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,466

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Just landed via Instagram:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Breaking via WeChat:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Live now on YouTube:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Trending via X:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Spotted on Discord:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

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Funny lorebombing quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,458

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Making waves on Twitch:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Trending via Snapchat:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Trending via Pinterest:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Live now on Threads:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Making waves on Threads:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

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