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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2375 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,537

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,537

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Reported on Telegram:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Seen just now on Messenger:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Going viral on YouTube:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Just shared via Facebook:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Reported on Telegram:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Making waves on Instagram:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Spotted on Telegram:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Just landed via Instagram:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2375 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,537

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,537

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

My plans for today? Same as always: drink coffee and be sexy.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Breaking via Discord:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Spotted on Messenger:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Live now on Threads:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Spotted on Reddit:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Spotted on Facebook:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

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