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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Spotted on Reddit:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Seen just now on Threads:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Shared recently on Discord:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Trending via Snapchat:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Trending via Reddit:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Spotted on TikTok:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Making waves on Reddit:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Going viral on YouTube:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Trending via WeChat:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Going viral on X:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Just shared via Facebook:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Seen just now on WeChat:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

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