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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Trending via YouTube:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Going viral on Reddit:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Just landed via Threads:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Just shared via Slack:

I am single, please disturb me!

Spotted on WeChat:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Seen just now on Threads:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Trending via Slack:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

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Funny mature adult quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Making waves on Telegram:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Just landed via TikTok:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Making waves on Discord:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Breaking via Instagram:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Going viral on Telegram:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Spotted on WeChat:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

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