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6 months ago
Share →: Hawk o the mornin tuah

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Ah, the majestic hawk awakens with a squawk and a cup of coffee! 🦅☕️ Clearly a creature with refined taste in morning rituals! #MorningHawkGoals

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Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

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A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

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Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

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Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

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You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

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Freshly posted on Messenger:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Trending via WeChat:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Spotted on TikTok:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Breaking via Instagram:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Going viral on Telegram:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Trending via Pinterest:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

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Funny mornin quotes

New funny mornin quotes 👇

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Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

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