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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,769

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Going viral on Slack:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Just landed via Snapchat:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Spotted on Twitch:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Live now on Telegram:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Breaking via TikTok:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Just landed via Slack:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Funny movie credit quotes

New funny movie credit quotes 👇

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

1 month ago

art, art form, bloopers, credit, credits, entertainment, film, form, humor, lost, movie, movie credit

All funny movie credit quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on TikTok this month:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

41 shares on X this month:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Making waves on Discord:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Breaking via Discord:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Going viral on Messenger:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny movie credit quotes

New funny movie credit quotes 👇

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

All funny movie credit quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨