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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Just shared via Threads:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Trending via Messenger:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Reported on Telegram:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Going viral on Reddit:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Breaking via Facebook:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Just shared via X:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Reported on Threads:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Reported on Telegram:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Trending via YouTube:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Breaking via Discord:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Trending via Pinterest:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Shared recently on X:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

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