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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,282

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Just landed via Threads:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I woke up alive again.

Live now on X:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Funny multitasking business quotes

New funny multitasking business quotes 👇

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

0

2 months ago

bakery, business, coffee, coffee shop, creative, creative business, feminine, feminine urge, flower, flower shop, humor, library, multitasking, multitasking business, open, shop, small, small business, urge

Someone from 🇦🇱 has recently bookmarked this quote.

47 shares on WeChat this month.

All funny multitasking business quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Slack this month:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

74 shares on Discord this month:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

75 shares on X this month:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

55 shares on Discord this month:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Making waves on Reddit:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Just shared via Discord:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Going viral on Slack:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Making waves on LinkedIn:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Making waves on Facebook:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny multitasking business quotes

New funny multitasking business quotes 👇

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

All funny multitasking business quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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