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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Trending via Snapchat:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Just shared via Twitch:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Trending via Slack:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Just landed via Threads:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Freshly posted on X:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Making waves on Instagram:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

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Funny municipal services quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Just shared via Messenger:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Making waves on Slack:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Trending via Reddit:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Breaking via Twitch:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Trending via YouTube:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Going viral on TikTok:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Going viral on TikTok:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

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