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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,716

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Just shared via Slack:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Seen just now on X:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Live now on Reddit:

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Just landed via Messenger:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Seen just now on X:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Funny mushroom house quotes

New funny mushroom house quotes 👇

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

0

5 months ago

chimney, cooking, deep, exist, free, freedom, hideaway, house, imagination, imagine, inside, knows, living, mushroom, mushroom house, nature, peaceful, pot, solitude, soup, tiny, tiny house, woods

Someone from 🇾🇪 has recently copied this quote.

100 shares on Slack this month.

All funny mushroom house quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Twitch this month:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

36 shares on X this month:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Just landed via Slack:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Just shared via Threads:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Going bananas on Threads:

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Just shared via WeChat:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny mushroom house quotes

New funny mushroom house quotes 👇

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

All funny mushroom house quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨