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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Long story short, I survived.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

“It is what it is,” I say, as I almost vomit from anxiety.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,769

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Just landed via Pinterest:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Seen just now on Discord:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Shared recently on Slack:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Making waves on WeChat:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Live now on Reddit:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Trending via Slack:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Funny national anthem quotes

New funny national anthem quotes 👇

All funny national anthem quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

38 shares on Discord this month:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

22 shares on Slack this month:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,322

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Seen just now on X:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Shared recently on Discord:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Breaking via Telegram:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Spotted on WeChat:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

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