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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Spotted on Telegram:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Just landed via Threads:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Trending via YouTube:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Trending via Facebook:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Funny national anthem quotes

New funny national anthem quotes 👇

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

0

2 months ago

anthem, award, award ceremony, ceremony, country, country music, humor, i, listen, music, music preference, national, national anthem, preference

All funny national anthem quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Messenger this month:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

94 shares on Slack this month:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

28 shares on X this month:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

57 shares on X this month:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Making waves on X:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Going viral on Twitch:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Just landed via TikTok:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Just landed via Threads:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

Going bananas on Threads:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny national anthem quotes

New funny national anthem quotes 👇

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

All funny national anthem quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨