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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Going viral on Instagram:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Breaking via Reddit:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Just shared via Messenger:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Going viral on Reddit:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Spotted on Reddit:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Shared recently on Instagram:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Just shared via Facebook:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Reported on YouTube:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Just shared via Pinterest:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Just landed via WeChat:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Spotted on TikTok:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

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