Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,485

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Spotted on TikTok:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

Seen just now on Slack:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Breaking via Facebook:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Just landed via Threads:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Just shared via Instagram:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Trending via Messenger:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Just landed via Messenger:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Funny news headline quotes

New funny news headline quotes 👇

All funny news headline quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Messenger this month:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

34 shares on Instagram this month:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I like you because we hate the same people.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,633

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Breaking via Reddit:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Situationship where the situation is being madly in love with each other.

Making waves on Telegram:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Live now on YouTube:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

Going viral on Reddit:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Just landed via X:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

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