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Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

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If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

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I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

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The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

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Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

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Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

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Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

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Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

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If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

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My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

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15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

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Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Trending via Twitch:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Going viral on Facebook:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Home » Funny Obama Quotes

Funny Obama quotes

New funny Obama quotes 👇

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

0

2 months ago

call, dad, data, forget, funny memory, guy, i, me, memory, middle, middle school, need, never, Obama, phone, school, stop, tell, using, Verizon

All funny Obama quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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53 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

47 shares on Slack this month:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

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Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

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Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

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Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

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Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

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I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

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A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

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I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Breaking via Messenger:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Making waves on Pinterest:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Just landed via Instagram:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Going viral on WeChat:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Breaking via Messenger:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

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Funny Obama quotes

New funny Obama quotes 👇

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

All funny Obama quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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