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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Making waves on Threads:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Just landed via Snapchat:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Making waves on Twitch:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Spotted on WeChat:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Reported on Snapchat:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

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Funny organ donor quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Going viral on TikTok:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Spotted on X:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Just landed via TikTok:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Just shared via Discord:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Going viral on Twitch:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

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