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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Making waves on Instagram:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Trending via Snapchat:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Making waves on Threads:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Seen just now on X:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Funny outdoor cooking quotes

New funny outdoor cooking quotes 👇

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

3 weeks ago

American, American culture, cooking, culture, feng, Feng Shui, grill, home, home improvement, humor, improvement, outdoor, outdoor cooking, shui, wobble

All funny outdoor cooking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

77 shares on Threads this month:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

91 shares on X this month:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Men are very good at being women lately.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Going viral on WeChat:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Making waves on Telegram:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Seen just now on Slack:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Just shared via TikTok:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny outdoor cooking quotes

New funny outdoor cooking quotes 👇

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

All funny outdoor cooking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨