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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I’m sick of living through history!

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Live now on YouTube:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Seen just now on Slack:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Going viral on Telegram:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Making waves on X:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

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Funny outdoor cooking quotes

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New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Spotted on Instagram:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Making waves on Discord:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Just shared via X:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Spotted on X:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Just shared via WeChat:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Spotted on Facebook:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Spotted on Slack:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

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