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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,325

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Making waves on Messenger:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Going viral on Pinterest:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Going viral on Threads:

Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Just landed via X:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Shared recently on Slack:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Funny people-watching quotes

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All funny people-watching quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

23 shares on X this month:

I only accept apologies in cash.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

10 shares on X this month:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

68 shares on Slack this month:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

If you want to sell something to a woman, show her other women using it. If you want to sell something to a man, prove to him no other man has it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Live now on TikTok:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Just landed via TikTok:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Shared recently on Discord:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Just landed via WeChat:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

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