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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Live now on Threads:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Just landed via Discord:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Going viral on WeChat:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,416

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Just landed via Discord:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Shared recently on Discord:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Just landed via Facebook:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Trending via YouTube:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

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