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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Trending via X:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Going viral on TikTok:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Just shared via Slack:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Live now on Slack:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Breaking via X:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

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Funny poly-relationship quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Just shared via Threads:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Trending via WhatsApp:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Reported on Twitch:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Breaking via Telegram:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Trending via Pinterest:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Spotted on Twitch:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

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