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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Shared recently on X:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Trending via WeChat:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Going viral on Reddit:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Spotted on Messenger:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Just landed via Reddit:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Going viral on Twitch:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Breaking via X:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Breaking via Instagram:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Spotted on WeChat:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Seen just now on Slack:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

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