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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Shared recently on Discord:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Making waves on Reddit:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Going viral on Messenger:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Spotted on Messenger:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Just shared via TikTok:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Breaking via Discord:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Just shared via Instagram:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Just shared via Telegram:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

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