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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Making waves on Slack:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Just landed via Pinterest:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Trending via Twitch:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My parents think they know me.

Just shared via TikTok:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Just landed via Slack:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Freshly posted on Slack:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Making waves on Slack:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Spotted on Reddit:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Making waves on Twitch:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

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