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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Just shared via Reddit:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Going viral on Messenger:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Just landed via X:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Just shared via Reddit:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Going bananas on Instagram:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Making waves on Reddit:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Just shared via YouTube:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

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New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on X this month:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,564

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Making waves on YouTube:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Trending via Facebook:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Spotted on Discord:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Trending via Threads:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Trending via Facebook:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I love it when God gives me money.

Spotted on TikTok:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

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