Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,250

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Live now on Pinterest:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Live now on WhatsApp:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Seen just now on Threads:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Just landed via Facebook:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Breaking via WeChat:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Live now on Snapchat:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Funny self-critique quotes

New funny self-critique quotes 👇

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

3 months ago

criticism, expectations, family, honesty, humor, just, kids, own, parenting, self-critique, think, wait, worst

All funny self-critique quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

31 shares on Discord this month:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

These aliens are taking forever.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Going viral on WeChat:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Spotted on Twitch:

I miss you when I wake up before you.

Trending via Threads:

I love one-pot recipes. So much less mess than when I was trying to cook things without a pot.

Just shared via Instagram:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Going viral on Threads:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Trending via Snapchat:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny self-critique quotes

New funny self-critique quotes 👇

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

All funny self-critique quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨