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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

4,049

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Live now on Instagram:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Going bananas on Telegram:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Just landed via Threads:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Spotted on Messenger:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Just landed via X:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Going viral on Telegram:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Spotted on Facebook:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Home » Funny Self-critique Quotes

Funny self-critique quotes

New funny self-critique quotes 👇

4 weeks ago

Commentary:
"Being a parent: where you trade self-criticism for endless judging from tiny humans who somehow still have no concept of personal space 🤪👶 #ParentingStruggles #NoPersonalBubble"

criticism, expectations, family, honesty, humor, just, kids, own, parenting, self-critique, think, wait, worst

All funny self-critique quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

3,933

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Going viral on Discord:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Shared recently on Facebook:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Just shared via Pinterest:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Trending via Instagram:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Making waves on Discord:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Trending via Slack:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Breaking via Slack:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

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