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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2332 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,494

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,494

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Shared recently on X:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Going viral on Messenger:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Spotted on Twitch:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Just landed via WeChat:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Making waves on Threads:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Live now on Facebook:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Seen just now on Threads:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2332 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,494

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,494

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Just landed via Reddit:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Making waves on Slack:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Just landed via Twitch:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Seen just now on Slack:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Going viral on Twitch:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

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