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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2545 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,707

Funny Quotes Topics

15,365

Funny Quotes Images

12,707

Updated

28 seconds ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Just shared via YouTube:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Breaking via Slack:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Live now on Snapchat:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

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Funny shopping strategy quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2545 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,707

Funny Quotes Topics

15,365

Funny Quotes Images

12,707

Updated

28 seconds ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Live now on Reddit:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Just shared via WeChat:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Just shared via Slack:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Trending via Slack:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Trending via Snapchat:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

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