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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,566

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Making waves on Telegram:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Spotted on Telegram:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Seen just now on Discord:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Funny shopping struggle quotes

New funny shopping struggle quotes 👇

All funny shopping struggle quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

17 shares on Discord this month:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Mike is short for Micycle.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The future is buffering.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,417

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Broadcasted on X:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Seen just now on Threads:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Just landed via X:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Going viral on Threads:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Shared recently on Facebook:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Breaking via Slack:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

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