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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,416

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Trending via Snapchat:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Making waves on Messenger:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Just shared via WeChat:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Funny shredder quotes

New funny shredder quotes 👇

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

6 days ago

boomer, Boomers, generation, humor, joke, paper, paper shredder, shredder, technology

All funny shredder quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Discord this month:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

60 shares on X this month:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Breaking via Instagram:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Live now on YouTube:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Trending via TikTok:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Shared recently on X:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Making waves on Threads:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny shredder quotes

New funny shredder quotes 👇

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

All funny shredder quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨