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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,490

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Just landed via Messenger:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Seen just now on Facebook:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Spotted on YouTube:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Live now on Instagram:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Just shared via Telegram:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Spotted on Telegram:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on WeChat this month:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

22 shares on YouTube this month:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

78 shares on Threads this month:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, there’s nothing reality Narcan can do for you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,334

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Trending via Instagram:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Going viral on Reddit:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Making waves on WeChat:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Spotted on Facebook:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Just landed via Facebook:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Making waves on Reddit:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Just landed via X:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

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