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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Just landed via Slack:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Spotted on Telegram:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Shared recently on Discord:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Just landed via Discord:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Just landed via Facebook:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Trending via Snapchat:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Spotted on Twitch:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Just shared via Facebook:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Trending via Telegram:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

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