Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Shared recently on Discord:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Live now on Threads:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Just shared via Discord:

Fries, not lies.

Just landed via Slack:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Just landed via Threads:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Breaking via Threads:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Seen just now on Discord:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Seen just now on Slack:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Funny sobering quotes

New funny sobering quotes 👇

All funny sobering quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

42 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,459

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Trending via Reddit:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Just shared via X:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Just landed via Telegram:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Making waves on Telegram:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

Just landed via Threads:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Trending via Reddit:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Making waves on YouTube:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

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