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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Live now on Pinterest:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Seen just now on Reddit:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Just shared via YouTube:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Reported on X:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Never trust a wet fart.

Just shared via Twitch:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Just shared via TikTok:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Going viral on Instagram:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

Just landed via Discord:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Spotted on Messenger:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Just shared via X:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

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