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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2251 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,413

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,413

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Just shared via WeChat:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Breaking via Messenger:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Just landed via WeChat:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Just landed via Facebook:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Shared recently on Threads:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Live now on Instagram:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Trending via TikTok:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Just shared via Instagram:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication dating day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2251 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,413

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,413

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Live now on Threads:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Going viral on Facebook:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Making waves on Reddit:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Just shared via Twitch:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Shared recently on Threads:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Reported on Twitch:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

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