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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,697

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Just landed via Telegram:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sometimes, when you go with the flow you end up drowning with everyone else.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Going viral on Messenger:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Just landed via X:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Breaking via Reddit:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Discord this month:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

64 shares on Discord this month:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

73 shares on Threads this month:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

58 shares on Discord this month:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,600

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Just landed via Pinterest:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Spotted on X:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Live now on Slack:

Twitter is cigarette for the eyes.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

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