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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1891 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,053

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,053

Updated

2 seconds ago

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Reported on YouTube:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Making waves on Twitch:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Just shared via Reddit:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Just landed via Reddit:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Just landed via Facebook:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1891 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,053

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,053

Updated

2 seconds ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Spotted on Twitch:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Going viral on WeChat:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Breaking via Slack:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Trending via Telegram:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Live now on TikTok:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Spotted on TikTok:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

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