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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Netflix & by yourself.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Just shared via Slack:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Live now on TikTok:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Making waves on Threads:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Going viral on TikTok:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Going bananas on X:

Taking a walk: The most effective debugging tool.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Going viral on Twitch:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Funny subject change quotes

Funny subject change quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor when conversations take unexpected turns 🤪✨ Whether you’re dodging awkward topics or just keeping things light and lively, these witty lines will have everyone laughing and switching gears in style 🎭🔄 Ready to master the art of smooth and hilarious subject changes? Let’s dive into some playful gems that make every chat a little more fun! 😂🔥

New funny subject change quotes 👇

All funny subject change quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on YouTube this month:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

18 shares on X this month:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,328

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Just shared via Twitch:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Just landed via Messenger:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Just landed via X:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Just shared via Facebook:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Shared recently on X:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

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