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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I am thick and tired.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Just landed via Twitch:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Shared recently on Threads:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Just shared via Twitch:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Just shared via Facebook:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Just landed via Discord:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Live now on WeChat:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Funny sunny day quotes

New funny sunny day quotes 👇

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

4 weeks ago

beautiful, blessing, cheerful, day, gratitude, humor, lord, nature, outdoors, positivity, smell, sunny, sunny day

All funny sunny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on X this month:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

18 shares on X this month:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Making waves on Discord:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Going bananas on X:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Just landed via WeChat:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Making waves on TikTok:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Just landed via Messenger:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

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Activity Log ✨

Funny sunny day quotes

New funny sunny day quotes 👇

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

All funny sunny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨