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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,602

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sometimes I wish I was a millennial, so I could talk about sex with my friends.

Trending via Slack:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Just shared via Telegram:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Going viral on Reddit:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Breaking via Slack:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Making waves on YouTube:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Just landed via Twitch:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Making waves on Telegram:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

47 shares on Slack this month:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

87 shares on Discord this month:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Just shared via Twitch:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Going viral on Slack:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Live now on Pinterest:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Just shared via Instagram:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Making waves on Pinterest:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Breaking via Twitch:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

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