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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Just shared via Telegram:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Broadcasted on X:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Trending via Messenger:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Making waves on YouTube:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Spotted on Slack:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Breaking via Facebook:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

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