455 funny think quotes - Page 11 - Wordgag

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

May 21, 2026

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

May 21, 2026

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

May 21, 2026

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

May 20, 2026

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

May 20, 2026

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

May 20, 2026

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

May 20, 2026

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

May 20, 2026

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

May 20, 2026

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

May 20, 2026

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

May 20, 2026

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

May 20, 2026

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

May 20, 2026

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

May 20, 2026May 20, 2026

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

May 20, 2026

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

May 20, 2026

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

May 20, 2026

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

May 20, 2026

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

May 20, 2026

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

May 20, 2026

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

May 20, 2026

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

May 20, 2026

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

May 20, 2026

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

May 20, 2026

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

May 20, 2026

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

May 20, 2026

My parents think they know me.

May 20, 2026

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

May 20, 2026

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

May 20, 2026

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

May 20, 2026

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

May 20, 2026

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

May 20, 2026

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

May 19, 2026

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

May 19, 2026

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

May 19, 2026

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

May 19, 2026

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

May 19, 2026

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

May 19, 2026

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

May 19, 2026

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

May 19, 2026