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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Making waves on Pinterest:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Reported on Discord:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Just landed via Pinterest:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Just landed via Messenger:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Live now on Slack:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Reported on Instagram:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Just landed via X:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Just landed via Pinterest:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Live now on Pinterest:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Seen just now on Messenger:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

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