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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

2 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Seen just now on X:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Going viral on Slack:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Just shared via Threads:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

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Funny transparent quotes

New funny transparent quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Commentary:
"Ah, I see you have a penchant for unique preferences! 🤓😂 Perhaps you should stick to admiring your women and glasses separately, just to be safe! 👓😉"

For even more funny transparent quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny transparent quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

2 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Going viral on TikTok:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Just landed via Messenger:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

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