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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,745

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

Just landed via Threads:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Making waves on Slack:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Live now on TikTok:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Making waves on Messenger:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Just landed via X:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Funny vanilla extract quotes

New funny vanilla extract quotes 👇

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

18 hours ago

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All funny vanilla extract quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Facebook this month:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

17 shares on Slack this month:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

95 shares on Slack this month:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

83 shares on X this month:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

14 shares on Discord this month:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

70 shares on Discord this month:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Making waves on Instagram:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Seen just now on Slack:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Just landed via Twitch:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Seen just now on Threads:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Trending via Reddit:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny vanilla extract quotes

New funny vanilla extract quotes 👇

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

All funny vanilla extract quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨