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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,369

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Trending via Discord:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Going viral on Telegram:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Going viral on Reddit:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Just landed via Facebook:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Trending via Facebook:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Funny Venus Williams quotes

New funny Venus Williams quotes 👇

All funny Venus Williams quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

90 shares on Discord this month:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

20 shares on TikTok this month:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

43 shares on Threads this month:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,690

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Making waves on TikTok:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Just landed via Messenger:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Going viral on Slack:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Freshly posted on Discord:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Just landed via Instagram:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

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