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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Trending via Reddit:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Going viral on Messenger:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Just shared via TikTok:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Breaking via YouTube:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Making waves on YouTube:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Spotted on Facebook:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Breaking via YouTube:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Spotted on Pinterest:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

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