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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,528

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Trending via Telegram:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Just shared via Instagram:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Shared recently on X:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Funny volunteers quotes

New funny volunteers quotes 👇

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

0

2 months ago

apology, church, congregation, funny situation, humor, i, missionary, misunderstanding, situation, volunteers

Someone from 🇰🇲 has recently shared this quote.

110 shares on TikTok this month.

All funny volunteers quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

17 shares on Slack this month:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

29 shares on Threads this month:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Just shared via TikTok:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Spotted on Instagram:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Trending via Facebook:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Going viral on Telegram:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Just shared via Telegram:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny volunteers quotes

New funny volunteers quotes 👇

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

All funny volunteers quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨